Grandparents raising grandchildren: Part three
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EmailA refresher course on child development can help when taking on a parenting role again.
Michigan State University Extension recognizes that if you are raising your grandchildren, you probably spend much of your time trying to understand their behavior and support their growth and development. Having a basic refresher course on child development can help you as you are taking on the role of parenting again.
Children face different challenges at every stage of development. Knowing some typical and some challenging behaviors at each stage can help you make a plan of action for responding to negative behaviors. You can ask yourself, is this challenging behavior normal, or is this child acting out because of a deeper social/emotional issue. How you respond may be different for each case.
Most challenging behaviors can be handled with age appropriate positive discipline techniques such as time-out, removal of privilege, grounding, etc. For example, a two-year-old who throws a temper tantrum may need a brief time-out to calm down. However, behaviors that seem more severe than expected for their age, for example, a five-year-old who is still having a lot of meltdowns or temper tantrums, may need some extra support from a family counselor or play therapist to help them deal with negative feelings that they are not able to express.
Here are some basic age-related characteristics and some ways you can support each stage:
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Infants ages birth-12 months. Goal or job of infants: Learn to trust. |
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Typical behaviors: Cry to communicate Listens to voices Looks at objects and faces Learning to control their body: roll over, sit up, crawl, grab, etc. |
Challenging behaviors: Cry a lot May not sleep through the night Dependent on caregivers for everything
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Supporting Infants: Feed, diaper and clothe Respond to cries Hold close, support head and neck Talk and play together
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Toddlers ages 1-3 years. Goal or job of toddlers: Learning autonomy and independence. |
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Typical behaviors: Walking Talking begins Play alongside others Enjoy stories, songs, rhymes
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Challenging behaviors: Says “no” a lot Tantrums Toilet learning begins
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Supporting Toddlers: Keep safe, clean and dry Ease fears with a smile and a hug and reassuring words Encourage play with other children Play with and read to them
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Pre-school-age children aged 4-5. Goal or job of preschoolers: Take initiative to explore and learn. |
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Typical behaviors: Talking in sentences Learning to dress self, run, jump Can use toilet
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Challenging behaviors: Sharing is still difficult Mixes fantasy and telling the truth
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Supporting Pre-School-Age: Children Keep safe and clean Provide quiet and active play times Listen and read to them Encourage pretend play
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School-Age children aged 6-12 years. Goal or job of school-age children: Expanding their world beyond the family. |
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Typical behaviors: Enjoy being with friends Interested in afterschool activities
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Challenging behaviors: Beginning to question rules of parents Find it hard to deal with criticism Like to tease and criticize each other |
Supporting School-Age: Need guidance on acceptable behavior Support hobbies and interests Be consistent with discipline and guidance. |
This is just a short list of some behaviors for the first five years of life. For more information, or to find classes offered on parenting in your community, contact your local MSU Extension office. Look for another article in this series related to grandparents raising teens.
